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"Hey! Are you free? We could go get free pizza at Union Square. They're giving free pizza to Freshers," I messaged AS over four years ago. She responded within seconds, saying, "Yeah, sure. Should I meet you outside in 5 minutes?"

We ate our free pizza and went on a long walk to the university forest. She said, "Aw I had a good time today. I hope we remain friends." I laughed and thought, "What an odd thing to say."

We met the next day for a walk. And the day after that. And the day after that. And every night before our assignments were due. We soon realised that the forest on campus had hidden paths, and we would stumble onto something new every time- we once accidentally discovered a field of bluebells. I said in the admission interviews that I wanted to study at the university because of the beautiful green campus (amongst many other bullet points I memorised for that question), but I couldn't have fathomed just how pretty it was in reality. 

AS told me that her brother had a pre-exam ritual with his friends. Naturally, we decided that we should have one too. We decided that we were going to go visit the bluebell field.

Yeah, that didn't happen. We didn't discover the bluebell field again, but we did discover how we would react if we got lost in the forest with the sun setting, the day before our exam. I'm not exactly sure how we managed to find a way out, but it must have all worked out fine if you're reading this right now.  

If we were stressed (which was most of the time), we would go on a walk. If we wanted to figure out how to work the camera on my new phone, we would go on a walk. If we wanted to discuss an assignment, we would go on a walk. If AS was craving McDonald's, we would go on a walk (after she scheduled the order, because nothing was going to stop her). Whatever the problem was, the solution was the same. It was simpler times back then. 

We met every day in that first year, and when we were at home, we sent voice recordings. We discussed how we needed to get more friends, and we managed to rope a few more fortunate souls over the years. We have prank-called friends together, and have called each other bearing bad news. We have fought and annoyed each other as well.

That is how I met my best friend and the person who was my flatmate throughout my time at university. I didn't meet her and decide she was going to be my best friend. We didn't 'find' each other. We built a friendship. It was fun most of the time, and it was hard sometimes, but we built it into what it is today.

I grew up since the day I went with AS to get free pizza. My ideas of healthy relationships have also changed, and I'm sure it'll change again. These are my notes on the topic right now- 

1. Be Open: Not that I'll be caught dead calling AS my soulmate, but if I can extrapolate from the data that I do have, soulmates are made through shared experiences, not found. Love is not something to find, it is something you do. If someone told me that the person who witnessed my entire existence at university was a little Scottish McDonald's fangirl who was obsessed with her sleep score, I would have cried. 
2. Be Aware of How You Feel: My sense of identity is very closely linked to the people in my life. Jim Rohn said, “You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I truly believe that. At university, I also understood the value of free time (because of how little free time I had during certain times). If spending time (because time is a currency) with a group of people is draining and not energising, they are likely not good for me in the long run. Invest time well.
3. Be Not Vain: All love is conditional, it just depends on what the conditions are. Expecting unconditional love from someone or trying to provide it at every instance can be unrealistic and is not sustainable. And expecting one person to be everything I need is also not sustainable. Different people can fulfil different roles, I can go to one person when I am upset, I can go to another when I want a book recommendation, and I can go to another person when I want free pizzas or to see bluebells.
4. Be Brave and Walk Away: I've forged strong relationships, and I've also lost some over the years. I realise now, that sometimes you have to sacrifice your rook to protect your king. If I hadn't lost some friendships, I wouldn't have been able to keep the truly good ones that I cherish now. I used to be scared (probably still am) to burn bridges. But my time at university showed me just how good friendships can be, and that was the flame that set ablaze my match.