Checkmate

What would you tell me if I ask you for the best love story you have witnessed? I've seen patients come into hospital with their spouses who they've been married to for five or six decades, and they often claim that their marriage was the best decision of their life. I'm not sure how much time I would get with patients once I graduate, but as a medical student, I've got nothing but time for the patients. So, I always pause to indulge in my love for love stories and ask for theirs. They usually narrate it with a smile. This particular patient's story made me think a lot...

"The kind of love, to leave loved ones for." (Letters to Juliet, 2010)

I'm not sure I like that line.

I had known Asher for three years. I had loved him for two years, I could call him 'mine' for two days. "That's the problem with heartbreaks. To you it's like an atomic bomb, but to the world it's a cliche." (Drinking Buddies, 2013).

I've always been a person of reason, and I've believed my mind to be my best asset. Even though, I've been in a lot of trouble because of it, I just smile to myself and quote the L'Oréal tagline- "Because you're worth it."

Asher and I were in the trenches together as lab assistants in an university. A month before this incident, he received a job offer in London, and somehow got me an interview at the same place.

"Wow, Asher. I don't know what to say. Thank you."

"I know you'll get the job."

"Thank you. Truly. But I'm not sure I can take it. I can't move. My family needs me."

A month passed by and things remained the same at work and with Asher. It was too difficult for me to talk about him moving away. But eventually, I bit the bullet and asked him about the ending of his notice period.

"Oh, I turned the offer down."

"What? Why?"

"You know why."

"Do I? Am I missing something?"

"You know why."

"Why?"

''You."

The moment felt very surreal. A conversation like this seems straight out of the ones I used to practice in the shower. I was quiet for a second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Four seconds.

I'd have said words failed me in that instant, but no, they didn't. There just was nothing for me to say. I didn't want to ruin it. I think at that moment, I knew. And I didn't want to ruin it for either of us. I hugged him for the first time, for what felt like an eternity but when I look back, it feels like it was way too short.

I left.

I started the conversation with him after radio silence for two days.

"Asher."

He looked up at me.

"I'm not going to convert into a Christian. Even if I tried, I couldn't."

"I didn't ask you to."

"You're right. But I can't let you keep making sacrifices for me, because I won't be able to keep up. I'm really sorry, but you should take the job."

Those three lines contained all the other words that I didn't have to say-

I won't be at church with you on Sundays, your family wouldn't accept me as an atheist, we can't get married in a church because I'm not baptised, and I will teach our kids my beliefs which might contradict yours.

I won't ask you to change, but can you really love me for me, or will you grow to resent me for all the sacrifices that you make for me?

Maybe ours would be the kind of love, you leave your loved ones for. But I won't be able to fill the role of your parents, your siblings, your church, your faith. I'm just one person and I'm not strong enough to shoulder the weight of your sacrifices.

If I loved you less, maybe I'd be able to hug you, cry and say "Thank you" over and over again. But I love you enough to deny myself the pleasure over and over again. I love you and to me that means, I'll love you even if you didn't love me, even if I never see you again. Not just in sickness and in health, not just in poverty and in wealth, I'll love you in flesh and in my mind, as a memory.

It had been 47 years since this happened, when the patient recounted the story to me last year. Since then, she lived another life, found the person she eventually married, but does she still love Asher? Yes, she does.

"This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object." (The Dark Knight, 2008).

Checkmate.

The best kind of love stories, they aren't always the tangible ones, the ones you can see decades of successful marriage, the ones where they work so well together like a well oiled machine. The best kind of love stories are when people say, "I'll love you anyway." The best kind of love stories are the unsung kind.

Disclaimer: None of the names in the above story belong to anyone I know. The names have been changed for protecting confidentiality.